By Andrew Ripemoff
I’m confused.
It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last, but I just can’t figure out why gas is so expensive. Especially considering we have all these bright Democrats working diligently on the solutions.
ninjapoodles/Flickr
No, no, I’m serious. Hear me out. Gov. Bill Ritter, Mark Udall, Ken Salazar, and other Democrats have taken bold steps to bring down the cost of fuel for hard working Coloradans. These plans include:
1) Raising the severance tax.
2) Shutting down drilling in Colorado for 90 days.
3) Filing of lawsuits to stop oil shale development.
4) Repeatedly blocking new energy exploration and refinery construction.
So how is it that gas prices have not gone down? Could it be that these men are wrong?
I know, that’s a ridiculous thought. Because while most people want cheaper gasoline, this liberal brain trust is instead focusing on "new energy." New energy like wind power, which is a great idea, you know, considering how many of us have cars equipped with sails.
They are also constantly enlightening us on energy related issues:
"Let's not kid ourselves," Salazar said on the U.S. Senate floor. "Expanding domestic oil and gas production will not lower gas prices." (Denver Post 6/11/08)
See! Isn’t this brilliant! Forget about the proven time-tested law of supply and demand. Throw all those silly "facts" and "history" right out the window and get on board the Salazar bandwagon, which hopefully doesn’t run on gas.
Personally, I’m glad we have that kind of forward thinking genius representing us in Washington. I’m also glad that a basic understanding of economic principles is not a requirement to become a United States Senator.
Mr. Salazar continued his insightful thesis:
"If we threw open the doors of America's most treasured landscapes to drilling, it would still just be a drop in bucket."
Ah yes. "America's most treasured landscapes." I remember as a child when mom and dad took us on family vacations to "treasured landscapes" like ANWR.
We packed up and drove the 83 hours to the arctic circle, where Dad stopped the car and said, "Well son. Here we are. At one of America’s most treasured landscapes. What do you think?" And I said, "Burrrr!" Because it was 70 degrees below zero.
But Dad made us get out of the car and look at the scenery, which consisted of nothing but desolate ice-covered flats as far as the eye could see. And Dad said, "Isn’t this beautiful?" I responded with, "Not really." To which he said, "Yeah, you’re right. We should have gone to Yellowstone instead."
So basically it sucked. But on the bright side, my sister’s frostbite wasn’t fatal. Plus, the area wasn’t very crowded. In fact, we were the only living things within 700 miles that didn’t have antlers and fur (and that includes a family from Arkansas we passed on the way up).
My point is that Mr. Salazar is right. Why should we drill for oil and gas in remote areas of the arctic, when instead, we can pay trillions for oil to unfriendly governments who engage in state-sponsored terrorism? Oh sure, there are some people trying to make America energy independent, but fortunately we have the Colorado Oil and Gas Conservation Commission to help put a stop to that.
Recently, commission members unveiled a proposed new set of regulations on the energy industry that includes a potential 90-day drilling moratorium. This is in addition to Udall’s year-long moratorium regarding oil shale leases.
While these proposals may seem odd, I say that if shutting down all activity for three months or a year makes good sense, then we should start with the Udall campaign. As a good faith measure, they should shut down for 90 days as we study the environmental impact of Mr. Udall’s Senate run. After all, they are traveling a lot around the state, burning evil fossil fuels and expanding their carbon footprint. They are printing thousands of posters and stickers that will wind up in landfills. We won’t even mention the damage they’re causing heating and cooling the Udall for Senate headquarters. And while I realize that the Udall campaign staff may not like going three months without a paycheck, I’m sure they’ll understand this moratorium is for the benefit of the environment.
But let’s not stop there. While we’re at it, we can shut off Salazar’s Senate microphone for three months. He hasn’t said anything of significance for three years, so a few more months won’t hurt. And Ritter too. Take three months off, Guv.
Trust us, the state of Colorado will survive without your (ahem) leadership. All three of you guys are hereby granted a 90-day moratorium.
What will they do for 90 days you ask? Where will they go? Who knows? It’s their choice. But as far as vacation destinations go, I have a suggestion:
You can’t beat a trip to one of America’s most treasured landscapes.