By Andrew Ripemoff
The statehouse has nominated its leadership team, and it appears that the genial and well-liked Terrance Carroll will became the next House Speaker. Just in case you weren’t aware, The Denver Post wants to make sure you know that Carroll is black. On the Senate side, Peter Groff was re-elected as Senate President. And in case you weren’t aware, the Denver Post wants you to know that Groff is black, too.
The Post is big on race.
Just once I’d love to see a Denver Post political story be about the person, and not about the color of his or her skin. In a sick form of reverse pseudo-racism, staff at the Post always seems to highlight a minority politician’s race above that of his accomplishments. Between the endless sympathetic stories and countless gushing editorials praising Groff, Carroll, and President-elect Obama, (the Post wants you to know he is black too), you wonder what the race-obsessed newspaper will cover next?
How about:
DENVER ELECTRICIAN LIFTS HEARTS, HOPES
"In a historic achievement, Denver resident Joe Williams today became the first African-American electrician to rewire florescent lighting in the state Capitol. Williams, a great-grandson of share croppers, was apparently unaware of his place in history as the crusty laborer hustled his way past inquisitive reporters and into a conference room, where he quicky went to work on the lengthy rewiring project. When asked about his historic accomplishment, and what it means towards the decades-long effort to heal the deep seated racial wounds of America’s dark past, Williams told a reporter, "Who gives a s%#&*. Why don’t you make yourself useful and hand me those wire cutters?"
But while Williams may have been nonchalant about his role in history, the moment did have a deep emotional impact for both civil rights activists and Denver Post editorial writers. Former Denver First Lady Wilma Webb was overcome with emotional as she watched history unfold before her very eyes. "Never in my lifetime did I think we’d reach a point in this country when an African-American would rise to a position of rewiring fluorescent lighting," said Webb, tears streaming down her face. "We shall overcome...overcome faulty wiring."
But electricians aren’t the only people working around the Capitol this time of year. In an official state memo, Gov. Bill Ritter upped the ante when it comes to governmental work ethic. He told state employees: "During the next 100 business days, you’ll have to show up for work at least twice. Maybe three times."
Ok. Maybe I’m exaggerating. But the governor did issue a memo giving state workers yet another day off work at taxpayer expense.
Amid the heavy criticism of this extra day off, there was an air of defiance coming from the Ritter’s office. Spokesman Evan Dreyer told a Denver TV station, "Ritter is the governor, not the Grinch."
True, the governor only wishes he were the Grinch. That way, the Post would publish glowing editorials praising him for becoming the first Green-American to become governor while running favorable stories about how he overcame the struggle and lack of opportunities that come with growing up as young green man in Whoville.
But Mr. Ritter is not a Grinch, and he’s not mean. We know this because Dreyer says that only a mean Grinch would require his employees to actually show up for work every day. We just hope this concept catches on in the private sector.
The scene: A brutally cold Denver morning.
The place: Evan Dreyer’s house.
A pipe has broken, and dirty water spouts everywhere. Cool-headed in a crisis, Dryer quickly calls a plumbing company. The owner answers the phone, and promises to send a plumber out there immediately.
Cut to four hours later. The water still gushes, covering the floor. Dreyer is up to his press releases in sewage water. He’s obviously angry, so he calls the owner of the plumbing company: "Where are you!" he shouts. And the owner replies, "I decided to give my employees the day off."
Dreyer is upset. "What? They were supposed to be here working!" And the owner smiles: "Hey, I’m not the Grinch."
And while we’re on the topic of raw sewage, let’s talk about the governor’s job creation plan.
Lost in all the election coverage were the findings of a three-month study conducted by Mr. Ritter’s "Jobs Cabinet." If you’ll recall, the governor created this new state bureaucracy last January. In a recent story headlined: "Panel Seeks To Line Up Jobs With Those Who Need Them," the Associated Press describes the mission of this new bureaucracy:
"Parts of Colorado have people looking for jobs and jobs looking for people, and the challenge is to find ways to connect them."
So let’s imagine you desperately need a job. What to do? You basically have two options:
1) You count on Bill Ritter to spend taxpayer money on a fancy "Jobs Cabinet" - a bureaucracy that then spends more money to conduct a three-month study involving lengthy round-table discussions with various business leaders, educators, and state officials - all for the purpose of establishing a collaborative network of ideas and innovative methods that ultimately may improve the process of connecting employer with potential employee.
Or,
2) You grab a newspaper and read the "Help Wanted" ads.
Personally, I’d go with option #3, which is to try to find a job in the Ritter administration. Sure, you’d probably only have a job for two more years, but unlike a real job, you’d get a whole bunch of free days off.
After all, Bill Ritter is not the Grinch.